Refine Search

The Varney Tens

...the type of guy who needs the latest model of a vehicle every year but I do suffer from what is referred to by our clan as The Varney Tens. The Tens is a generic quirk of the males of my lineage to buy a new rig when our old one passes its decade milestone...
Christmas is a time for...

Editor's note: This column was originally published in The Clarion on Dec. 25, 2011. Author Nick Varney said he had several requests to share it again this year. We all have certain memories or thoughts of times and places that provide...
Grinchettes and grudges

...America had at least finished its Thanksgiving leftovers.Before I give you a snapshot of what it was like back then for the Varney clan, I need to make a full disclosure.In the interest of justice, I am forced to admit there are certainly two (maybe...
Turkey troubles

...matter. As for me, my turkeys continue to be roasted to perfection following an ancient recipie developed by the men of the Varney clan eons ago. We give them to our wives and then stay out of the kitchen because they are armed and very territorial this...
Unhinged Alaska: A call from Cuz

I just got off the phone with a slightly deranged cousin who lives back east where the snow is roaring out of the sky in the form of an avalanche.
Time for the moose column throwdown

...Sunday paper, brought out the Peninsula Life section to see what Varney had to say and HE had written his column about moose. Not just...about Redoubt, or icy streets or Juneau doings, blame it on Varney. It's all his fault you got two columns on Moose. Virginia...
Unhinged Alaska: Grump Month

I'm not sure what it is about October that puts me into a mood that my wife refers to as my "Grump Month" but it has happened every year since I spotted my first gray nose hair. It's not an aging thing, trust me.
Unhinged Alaska: The trip

I hold a trip to Anchorage in the same esteem as a "pick up poop patrol" in a heavily populated elephant compound.
Alaska Unhinged: Spit overload

The Fourth of July celebration was enveloped by such a superb three day weather forecast that northern worker bees were attracted to our area in impressive swarms buzzing around in everything from over priced vanity convertibles to motorhomes with optional slide-out lawns.There were humongous pickups featuring so many options that they were a control room short of being able to launch multiple surveillance drones in search of optimal camping sites while others piloted wheels that could have fit in the big boys' glove compartments.
You've got to be kidding me

It has been a classic summer so far with stunning sunscreen weather blanketing the peninsula encouraging a significant surge of visitors. Even the few stretches of rain episodes have been a boon to the local economy. Once they dissipate, cumulus storm clouds of mosquitoes explode into the atmosphere sending thundering herds of residents and tourists diving onto stores in a panic search for insect repellants so saturated with Deet that their skins morph into something translucent enough to qualify as an internal anatomy display.


  • 150 Trading Bay Rd, Kenai, AK 99611
  • Switchboard: 907-283-7551
  • Circulation and Delivery: 907-283-3584
  • Newsroom Fax: 907-283-3299
  • Business Fax: 907-283-3299
  • Accounts Receivable: 907-335-1257
  • View the Staff Directory
  • or Send feedback